2019 Midseason Review by Stanley J. Cohen

Welcome to the Mazza League midseason review. I usually try to do this around week 7. Now we’re in week 9. But all stats/standings/grades are as of week 8. Try to keep up guys.

In this part of the review, I will be going deep (DEEP) into the alternate standings and GPA given out by Yahoo to see where we all stand at this point. Here we go.

First up – All Team standings. Record based on what our record would be if we played everyone every single week. Yahoo used to put this in the recaps every week, now they don’t so I’ve been doing it manually every week.

All Team Standings (current Mazza record in parentheses)

Team Rank GB
Duke (6-3) 64-24  –
Sharari (6-3) 63-25 1
Nimo (8-1) 52-36 12
Yossi (5-4) 49-39 15
Stan (5-4) 47-41 17
Moshal (4-5) 45-43 19
Mokass (3-6) 45-43 19
Ez (4-5) 42-46 22
Dag (7-2) 40-48 24
Vic (3-6) 38-50 26
Chuck (2-7) 23-65 41
Alsav (1-8) 20-68 44

Duke and Sharari were crowned early this year as the two favorites and that has played out in the All Team standings. Both are way ahead of the pack and over ten games up on first place Nimo. Currently sitting tied for 3rd in the standings both are seemingly locks for the playoffs.

The bottom of the standings are confirmed here as the Savdies and Chuck are the bottom 3 in the All Team standings as well as the real Mazza League standings. Bottom 3 in points too. Not really a shock.

The middle is packed as usual, it should be a dogfight to the end for the final 2 playoff spots with 6 teams within 2 games of each other. Should be high drama. One thing I wanted to point out is that according to this Moshal, who has been coming on strong should be a top 6 team. Dag should be towards the bottom, but we know Dag’s making it (more on that later). Which means that Moshal would….take my spot (GULP).

Remember before when I said we’d come back to Dag later? Here we are. The biggest story in the league this year is that of Captain Dag. 7-2, second place (with Mahomes waiting in the wings) but only a 40-48 All-Team record. Seems weird, right? Let’s dig deeper.

Team Week 5-8 GB
Nimo 34-10  
Dag 32-12 2
Sharari 30-14 4
Yossi 30-14 4
Duke 26-18 8
Moshal 25-19 9
Stan 20-24 14
Mokass 16-28 18
Vic 15-29 19
Ez 14-30 20
Alsav 14-30 20
Chuck 8-36 26

I broke out the All-Team standings to only reflect weeks 5-8. Look at Dag on FIRE. A meteoric rise from 9th to 2nd in the All-Team Standings. From weeks 1-4 Dag’s team would’ve won eight times total across the entire league. He quadrupled that in the following four weeks. Watch out for Dag.
Other notes: Nimo takes his rightful spot at the top here, and Duke falls off all the way to 5th place but it’s not as bad as it seems there.

Now I’ll post the cumulative GPA that Yahoo has given us each week. I’m not exactly sure how Yahoo comes up with these grades or what exactly is taken into account besides start/sit decision (if even that) but here we go:

Team AVG
Sharari 3.65
Duke 3.53
Nimo 3.45
Mokass 3.43
Yossi 3.31
Ez 3.29
Stan 3.16
Moshal 3.08
Dag 2.91
Vic 2.83
Chuck 2.58
Alsav 2.33

The top pretty much stays the same. Dag’s slow start is reflected here as well. Big movers are Ez and Mokass who get into the top six. What does it mean? I’m never really sure but I do find it interesting. I do like how every metric I use just takes a dump on Al, Vic and Chuck. How did I lose to Chuck?????????

A+ Grade Tally
4 – Sharari3 – Duke
2- Stan, Dag, Yossi
1 – Vic, Ez, Nimo

D Grade Tally
2 – Vic
1- Al, Chuck, Yoss, Stan

F Grade Tally
1 – Al

Looking forward to the playoff push. Should be exciting as the bye spots are a realistic option for four teams and the bottom two spots are up in the air. Good luck everyone and stay tuned for more review items. There will be a podcast for sure to analyze the actual roster moves by each team as well as playoff predictions. I also have more to say just not sure if I can put it all in another article or maybe I’ll post a video. Either way… I’ll be back!

2017 Midseason Review

2017 Midseason Review by Stan

Hello fellow Mazza league members! I am back for MY 3RD annual mid-season review. Let’s get started!

Here are our current standings:

Team Current GB PF
Duke 8-0 1043.84
Stan 6-2 2 1074.39
Sharari 6-2 2 919.68
Moshal 5-3 3 1077.30
Yoss 5-3 3 1065.10
Dag 4-4 4 1006.20
Chuck 4-4 4 988.83
AlSav 4-4 4 935.06
Moses 3-5 5 910.81
NiMo 2-6 6 977.26
Ez 1-7 7 913.81
MoKass 0-8 8 753.11

Duke is gunning for that Moses record – currently W9 – next 3 matchups: Dag, Moses, Sharari -will he do it????

Speaking of Moses: I’m not even sure he knows how much we will miss him. It’s been a real pleasure competing with you and if I don’t win this year I’d love for you to go out on top. Would be well deserved. It was nice knowing you. Bye.

Big congrats to Ez for breaking that winless streak. Mokass lets go buddy I know you can win one!!!

Now let’s look at the “all-team” standings – these numbers are provided by Yahoo in the recaps to show how your team would fare if you played every team every week:

Team All Team GB
Stan 62-25-1
Duke 57-31 5.5
Moshal 56-32 6.5
Yoss 54-34 8.5
Dag 53-35 9.5
Chuck 50-38 12.5
NiMo 41-47 21.5
Sharari 38-50 24.5
AlSav 36-52 26.5
Ez 34-54 28.5
Moses 31-56-1 31
MoKass 15-73 47.5

Shake up at the top!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m way too excited but there I am sitting pretty at number 1 over undefeated Duke. Oh baby. Also, interesting, Moses and I could have tied at some point! The biggest mover here is Sharari going from 3rd to 8th in these standings. We all know how lucky he’s been to this point but that’s why you play the game. Also about what I said about Moses finishing on top…he’s behind Fantasy Cemetery BC in these standings. That does not bode well.

I used one more advanced metric for a third look at the teams- this one will show (per yahoo) how good of a manager one is on a weekly basis. That’s right it’s the weekly Yahoo grades! In GPA form!!!

Team Current GPA
Yos 5-3 3.47
Stan 6-2 3.22
Duke 8-0 3.15
NiMo 2-6 3.00
Dag 4-4 2.95
Moshal 5-3 2.90
AlSav 4-4 2.84
Chuck 4-4 2.74
Ez 1-7 2.62
Moses 3-5 2.61
Sharari 6-2 2.28
MoKass 0-8 1.87

Team Rape Van takes the leaddddddddddddddd! And look at Nimo moving up to the top 4!! I KNEW his team was good! Oh God, Sharari how the hell are you 6-2??????? I don’t think any of these metrics are any type of foreshadowing but how much longer can Sharari keep this up?

On to the teams (in draft order)

I’ll look at each team’s draft board and pick out the best value and worst values up to this point and highlight a key addition.


Best Value – Ezekiel Elliot, 2nd round. Alex Smith, 8th round. Evan Engram 12th round.

Worst Value – David Johnson, 1st round. Brandon Marshall, 5th round. Greg Olsen, 6th round.

Key Addition(s) –Will Fuller V ($10), Chris Hogan and Adam Thielen (Trade)

Team Fantasy Cemetery is really such a fitting name for his team and the fact that this report is coming out on Halloween. #1 overall pick David Johnson, dead. Marshall and Olsen, dead. Derek Carr broke his spine and somehow is still playing. Even Devante Parker who has since been traded to Duke has been out for multiple weeks. Matt Forte and Rob Kelley also missed multiple weeks. Tons and tons of bad luck. And tons and tons of bad trades. Ez traded stars and got back role players multiple times. That’s not how you win at fantasy. I think.

Current Standing: 11

Projected Finish: 11


Best Value – James White 13th Round, Priestmode, 16th round.

Worst Value – Alshon Jeffery, 5th Round. Terrance West, 8th Round.

Key Addition(s) – AJ Green (trade)

I hit on my first 4 picks which is a good way to start a season: Bell, Gronk, Russ and Cook (who was parlayed into Green). Those 4 have been leading me all season but this team is VERY top heavy. Lack of depth at QB (that Palmer injury was killer) and RB will inevitably do me in I feel. Hopefully I can avoid the slide I had last year and make the playoffs. It’s been a while (PODCAST!!)

Special mention of maybe shittiest Waiver transaction. Smallwood for 48$. Woof.

Current Standing: 2

Projected Finish: 3


Best Value – Deshaun Effin Watson, 10th round. Zach Ertz, 12th round. McFadden???????

Worst Value – Bilallalalall Powell, 5th round.

Key Addition(s) –Devante Parker (trade)

Duke is 8-0. I repeat Duke is 8-0. Maybe he shouldn’t be 8-0 but his team is damn good and that’s without Aaron Rodgers. But don’t fret, Duke accidentally drafted Deshaun Watson who is now a GOD among men. And he has TyGod! 2 Gods on one team!! That’s why he’s 8-0!

Zach Ertz – the best tight end in the league in the 12th round. Ever year Duke has these late guys that propel his team. This year is no different. And now he might have some McFadden action. This team is deep and will be very hard to beat. Watch out!

Current Standing: 1

Projected Finish: 2


Best Value – Chris Thompson, 13th round.

Worst Value – Amari Cooper, 2nd round. Cam Newton, 3rd round. Jamison Crowder, 7th round.

Key Addition(s) –Larry Fitzgerald (trade), Danny Amendola (trade)

NiMo is sitting at 2-6 but really, I like his team. I don’t get Fantasy. I listed Cam as a bad value for Nimo only because he drafted 3 QBs: Brady, Cam and Dak in the first 5 rounds and right now Cam is the worst of the bunch. It’s true he did trade Dak for Fitz who had a monster start to the season but now with no Palmer I can’t see many points there.

Nimo really needs AP to become an RB1. Not even for his fantasy team, I think it would boost is psyche because all year he has been hyping him. He needs this win.

I found a waiver claim worse than my Smallwood. Josh Gordon for $12. Actually no, mine is still worse. #Respect for finally dropping him, I know that must have been hard.

F!@& Fantasy.

Current Standing: 10

Projected Finish: 8


Best Value – Kareem Hunt, 2nd round. Carson Wentz, 6th round.

Worst Value – Jordan Reed, 5th round.

Key Addition(s) – ASJ ($1), Josh McCown ($4)

Last year’s champ is this year’s points leader. Magic Mo is back this time featuring Jets! Carson Wentz and Kareem Hunt may be front runners for MVP on the 2 best teams in the league and Moshal has enough random Rbs to make this work. Brace yourselves, a playoff run is coming.

Current Standing: 4

Projected Finish: 7


Best Value – Leonard Fournette, 3rd round. Adam Thielen, 9th round, Chris Hogan, 11th round.

Worst Value – Julio Jones, 1st round, Terelle Pryor, 4th round. Paul Perkins, 8th round.

Key Addition(s) -where to begin? Zeke, Baldwin, Julio, Cousins (via trade), Alf ($0), Juju ($0) Agholor ($)

Team Yoss really transformed his team into a powerhouse. His top 6 of Cousins, Baldwin, Dez, Julio, Ingram and Zeke are unparalleled in the league. Zeke is now suspended but Yoss wisely stashed Alfred Morris so while there will be a drop off I don’t think he’ll be crippled. This team is super strong and Yos is not afraid of making trades (8 already this season!) in an effort to help his team. He’s still a playoff team and when Zeke comes back I think he’ll be a championship team.

However, I am on the record saying this league will be less fun if Yoss wins it all. This year Yoss has pulled out all the stops and rapes to get this team. Who knows how invested he’ll be if he takes home the trophy!

Current Standing: 5

Projected Finish: 1


Best Value – Travis Kelce, 4th round.

Worst Value – Jay Ajayi, 2nd round. Sammy Watkins, 7th round.

Key Addition(s) Aaron Jones ($18)

Our resident overachieving shark is 6-2. Despite his lack of impressive advanced stats all he does is win. Our current weekly points winner Sharari is on a 5-game winning streak and his team seems to be coming alive. McCoy is getting hot, Ajayi just got traded to a better situation and Kelce is a monster white guy who wishes he was black. If Matt Ryan can get out of this funk he’s in Sharari will have a chance to continue to surprise in January. Fantasy playoffs are like the NHL playoffs: Just get in and who knows what can happen.

Sharari has been a big proponent of abolishing kickers so we (Yossi) did some research and we found that only 3 matchup results would have changed w/o kickers:

Week 5 Moshal would have lost to Mokass

Week 7 Moshal would have lost to NiMo

Week 8 Yoss would have lost to AlSav

So not as relevant as one would think.

Current Standing: 3

Projected Finish: 4


Best Value – Todd Gurley, 3rd round

Worst Value – OBJ, 1st round. Demaryius, 4th round. Andrew Luck, 7th round.

Key Addition (s) Leonard Fournette (trade)

4 of Dag’s first 5 picks were WR and not one of them is playing great but he was able to flip a pupu platter of shit for Fournette giving him a formidable RB Duo. Fournette and Gurley is a hell of a tandem and should lead Dag into the playoffs. The Rbs + the Thomases + Stafford should be enough to propel #TeamCommish to the playoffs.

Dag started 4-0 and then I jinxed him. My bad Dag! But he’s still in playoff position as of right now and I think it’ll stay that way.

Current Standing: 6

Projected Finish: 5


Best Value – Larry Fitzgerald, 6th round, Dion Lewis, 17th round.

Worst Value – TY Hilton, 3rd Round. Joe Mixon, 4th round. Joe Flacco, 8th round.

Key Addition(s) Dak Prescott (Trade), Jason Witten ($30)

I was not a fan of Al’s team after the draft. Melvin was overrated, Lamar sucks, TY had no Luck and Mixon was a rookie in a timeshare. Those are his first 4 picks. Yet the first 3 have been solid (Smelvin has been excellent) and AL’s team has been a nice surprise. Trading for Dak was HUGE for this team and now Al needs him to lead his team to the promised land.

Current Standing: 8

Projected Finish: 9


Best Value – Kirk Cousins, 6th round

Worst Value – Devonta Freeman, 1st round, Allen Robinson, 3rd round, Isaiah Crowell, 4th round. Martavis, 5th round.

Key Addition(s) Big Ben and Kelvin (trade)

A terrible season. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. The strength of this team was Brees-Cousins combo both have been traded for spare parts. Mokass has 2 WR who are on the outs with their own team (Pryor and Bryant) and Freeman has been good not great. This team is BAD. I don’t think he’ll go winless, but it wouldn’t shock me.

Least points in the league and it’s not close.

Most fight he put up this year was the Hoyer-Bortles draft scandal. (side point: he missed the pick bc he was talking to me about a random player….CJ Beathard. And now that guy is a guy! So weird.)

His team gonna gets their asses handed to them in Mazza Bowl III.

Mokass needs to trade for auction money for next year’s draft.

Current Standing: 12

Projected Finish: 12


Best Value – Deandre Hopkins, 3rd round.

Worst Value – Demarco, 2nd round. Beast Mode, 4th round

Key Addition(s) Stefon Diggs, Brees (trade), McKinnon ($26 Shem Hashem!), Cameron Brate ($16)

The retiring machine started off 0-4 but now has won 3 of his last 4 (and ill predict a win for him this week) to climb back into the playoff picture. Moses made 2 big that have shaped his team  -the first trading Ben and Kelvin for Brees, the 2nd trading AJ Green for a pair of Vikings- Dalvin Cook who is now out for the year and Stefon Diggs who has been banged up for the past month.

Moses has 4 viable Rbs in Demarco, McKinnon, Lynch, and Martin and he will need to lean on those guys to get him back to the playoffs (along with a revitalized Hopkins who has been saved by Watson).

Here’s to hoping Moses has one more run in him!

Current Standing: 9

Projected Finish: 6


Best Value –Robby Anderson, 13th round.

Worst Value – Eddie Lacy, 9th round.

Key Addition(s) Alvin Kamara ($0), Latavius ($52), Kearse U Out ($0)

Team Chuck doesn’t have a lot of good or bad value – just EH. Evans and Jordy have been OK. Same for Winston and Mariota. Montgomery got injured and lost some value, Hyde has been his best player and Kamara has been a great find. An overall solid team but he needs his big guys to perform. Charles has 4 Packers so his fate may be tied directly to Brett Hundley the 32-dollar man.

Charles, Dag and Al are all tied for the last playoff spot – the best 5 week run from one of them will likely earn them a playoff spot. Should be a fun ride.

Current Standing: 7

Projected Finish: 10

Final Rankings (subject to be wayyyyyyyyyyy wrong)


  1. Duke
  2. Stan
  3. Sharari
  4. Dag
  5. Moses – ONE LAST RUN!!!!!
  6. Moshal
  7. NiMo
  8. AlSav
  9. Chuck
  10. Ez
  11. Mokass

Good Luck everyone!!!!!!

2017 Week 13 Playoff Race Preview

2017 Week 13 Playoff Race Preview by Sharari

Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
*1  RABBI RUSS (Stan) 10-2-0 1629.29 1371.83 W-8 $2 11 29
*2  Yos 9-3-0 1663.06 1404.52 W-6 $13 5 27
*3  QB KILLA (Duke) 9-3-0 1461.04 1404.47 L-1 $13 7 29
*4  TheHatedHoudini (MoShal) 8-4-0 1598.87 1444.22 W-2 $4 8 45
5  Demarious✭Targarian (Dag) 7-5-0 1525.70 1478.91 L-1 $14 10 64
6  Sharari 6-6-0 1389.95 1398.80 L-4 $12 12 38
7  HaJimmyniנא מעט-מים (AlSav) 6-6-0 1380.33 1475.73 L-2 $0 1 18
8  Kearse U OUT (Charles) 5-7-0 1437.87 1445.79 W-1 $5 9 22
9  נימו 4-8-0 1466.20 1498.51 W-2 $24 3 10
10  It HURNS when I pee (Moses) 4-8-0 1353.18 1514.76 L-2 $20 2 18
11  Fantasy Cemetery (Ezra) 3-9-0 1367.18 1570.43 W-1 $14 4 20
12  San Francisco 49ers (MoKass) 1-11-0 1143.68 1408.38 L-2 $5 6 32


Week 13 Playoff Scenarios:

Stan, Yoss, Duke, Moshal have officially clinched a spot. Dag is unofficially in because even if he loses it is unlikely Sharari and Al both win and outscore him by 136+ points. Nimo, Moses, Ez, and Mokass good luck next year (except Moses). That leaves us with 3 teams (Sharari, Al, Chuck) battling for the final playoff spot.

Sharari gets in with a W and outscoring alsav +9.62 points. Sharari can also get in with a Loss combined with an Al and Chuck loss and outscoring Al by +9.62, or outscoring Chuck by 47.92+.

Al gets in with a W and outscoring Sharari by 9.62+. Al can also get in with a Loss combined with a Sharari and Chuck loss and outscoring Sharari by 9.62+, or outscoring chuck by 57.54+.

Chuck gets in with a win and an Al and Sharari loss and to not be outscored by 57 points. Chuck is eliminated with a loss (unlikely).


Matchups For 6th Seed:

Sharari vs. Ez

I currently have the edge in this one 128-122 but Ez is primed to play spoiler with some nice matchups across the board.

Al vs. Duke

Al has the edge here 123-114. The news just came in that Crabtree will be suspended for 2 games. He will appeal but if he doesn’t play that’s a big boost to Al’s chances. Duke’s team is fading fast. Thanks to a great start he is in the playoffs but it’s going to be tough to beat Al and claim a bye.

Chuck vs. Mokass

Chuck is coming off a big win needing to win his last 2 games to get in and he gets a cupcake matchup this week from a team who is just begging for the season to end. Chuck has the edge in this one 122-102 and I don’t see how he loses this week. Will it be enough?

Prediction: I have Alsav winning his matchup and getting in. I have a chance to beat Ez, and I should but my team hasn’t been good enough all year so well see if they show up this week. Chuck will win but he will not get the help he needs and fall just short of the playoffs.

Playoff Team Seeding:

Stan is locked into bye and with a win he will clinch first place overall for the season. He has a tough matchup with Moshal whose team is peaking at the right time.

Yoss can claim a bye with a win or a Duke and Moshal loss as long as moshal doesn’t outscore him by 64.19 points, and nothing would make him happier than to send Moses off with a loss in his final matchup in the Mazza League. Yoss can also claim the top spot with a win and a Stan loss and for Stan to not outscore him by 33.77 points.

Duke can earn a bye as the 2nd seed by beating Alsav (please do this!) combined with a Yoss loss to Moses. Duke is locked into the 3-4 spot with a loss. He will finish 3rd with a win and Yoss loss. He can fall to 4th with a loss and a Moshal win.

Moshal can finish 2-5 but most likely will end up 3-4. He can finish 2nd with a win and a Duke and Yoss loss and outscoring Yoss by 64.19 points. He can finish 3rd with a win and Duke loss. He will finish 4th with a loss as long as Dag doesn’t outscore him by 73.17 points.

Dag is basically locked into the 5th seed and might be a good time to rest his players vs. Nimo who has already started to rest his players.

The 6 seed is the most exciting race we have and it should make for an interesting week 13.

Enjoy and Good luck to all!

2017 Week 2 Recap

Well, I was hoping I wouldn’t be doing this this early in the season, but I imagine this being Gd’s sense of humor. You should probably stop reading this now cause this might just be a diary entry on my sorry ass team. Na, I’m sure Chris Carson will be a good replacement for David Johnson. No Olson, no problem. I got Evan Engram baby. I am going to skip recapping my match with Sharari because that wasn’t really much of a matchup. All Shark’s team had to do was put numbers up. I mean Blount got 0.50 – plenty. Good  job man.

Diggity (131.27) VS Niggity (100.40)

Dag gets the nice win here. Makes him 2-0!!! Ya baby!!! Must feel nice, kind of the like how Mets fans felt when they started getting good pitching and roster that could back em up. That didn’t last too long. Hopefully you fare better Dag. I like your team a lot, your only weak spot is your TE. Nimo is sticking to the status quo, not doing anything amazing. Although, I do think you’ll do better this year than last.

Yos Man (113.94) VS Peyton (98.34)

I mean this isn’t the pretties win, but a win is a win is a win. I am not worried about Moses being 0-2 (don’t worry Moses – this is as much consoling as I’ll do). Why am I not worried? because I’m 0-2 and I don’t give a shit you hear me???? No but seriously, I think you’ll be fine. This was a good matchup, was expecting it to be a bit more exciting.

Moshal (148) VS Stannis (130.97)

Well this one was a goodin. Moshal knows how to draft his RBs. They pretty much won it for him. Both team put up some duds, but that seems a lot a more common this season than in the past. Unfortunately for all of us Moshal won again (and got weekly points guy). Haj Moshal. Well Stan will probably get the win week 3, so something for him to look to.

Chuck (133.27) VS MoKass (122.27)

TheHated 2.0 gets the win over the lovable rook. League morale is trending down. WTF is going???? Jesus. No Jordy, okay he has Evans Hyde and Ty. I mean, Mo, if you started Javorious or however you spell it you woulda won, but they that’s Fantasy – or lack therof. Hopefully you get the win against the BIL Week 3. I’ll pray for you this RH.

Al Sav (108.36) VS Duke (123.30)

Duke gets the easy (sorry Al, I was much easier though) win against our brochie (@Moshal, is this a thing? Bro+rochie). Duke’s reliable Crabtree was the team leader. Looks like Golladay was a one week show. Duke made an enticing trade to me for him (not). Duke starts the season 2-0, how I envy you and the rest of you 2-0 folk. Can I trade players and faab for a W?

—- Ezra Shiram (Week 2, 2017)

Week 1

Week 1 is in the books! Rookie breakout performances and injuries galore, we had one very interesting and eventful week. Here’s this week’s matchup breakdown.

Duke vs Mokass

I didn’t have much faith going in to this week, as my confidence in my team was never high to begin with. I was hoping to be a middle of the pack team, but, man, was this week a rude awakening. A total combined 10.10 points from 3 wide receivers, 3 players going down to season-threatening injury (Robinson-ACL, Woodhead-Hammy, Sturgis-that time of the month) and weak QB play doomed my team by 2:00 PM on Sunday.

Duke was able to coast to victory here without riding the coattails of his top picks. Rodgers submitted a subpar performance (16.47) and Brandin Cooks (10.30) was below projection as well. Jordan Howard, Duke’s second round pick, put up 14.10 points, but whispers of rookie Jew boy, Tarik Cohen may prove scary.

Duke takes this week 1 win to the bank and looks forward to next week when he faces Al Sav.

Mokass faces Charles. I’m not very happy about my prospects here as Wape may commence but for the wrong side.

Dagmy vs. Sharari

This one had the making of an epic matchup prior to Hurricane Irma. Big RBs, big pass catchers. Unfortunately, the Bucs/Phins game would need to be moved to Week 11 and we would not see Ajayi this week. Odell Beckham’s status was up in the air all week and as Irma drew closer to the coast, Beckham’s condition worsened. He was ruled out for Sunday nights tilt vs. the Cowboys and just like that, big point getters were gone.

Have no fear, these two teams would not let you down. A back and forth match all day long. Gillislee gave Dag a big edge on Thursday with 3 scores and Kelce putting up a dud of a night. McCoy roared and willed his team back in to the fight with a big outing of 21.40 points, but this was only matched by a basically no named tight end in Austin Hooper (21.80).

The matchup was neck and neck until Monday night where the score held at 115.33 to 107.00 in favor of Dagmy. This 7.33 lead with 4 players yet to play (M. Thomas, D. Thomas, Gates, Min DST) was able to hold off Sharari’s 1 player (P. Rivers) and cruise to a 136.23-123.40 victory. Dagmy moves to 1-0 with the victory.

Sharari will face Ezra next week. Sure to be a slobberknocker.

Dag faces off against Nimo. Should be a memorable matchup as these always are.


Nimo vs. Moses

Lots of anticipation going in to this one. We have the GOAT Tim Brady vs. The Beast Marshawn Lynch. Both aged to perfection.

Going in to Sunday, Nimo held a lead that we thought wouldn’t hold very long. Brady (8.90) and the NE DST (1.00) underperformed, but it was salvaged by an outstanding performance by Tyreek Hill (25.30). His lead held strong until Sunday night, when Moses strung together 25.90 points from Witten, Shepard and NYG defense. But Nimo had 2 players left, Adrian Peterson and Wil Lutz. The unlikely hero proved to be the latter with a 13-point performance propelling him to the 7-point victory 109.30-102.57.

Nimo faces Dagmy this week after a sweet win and Moses tries to redeem himself against Yos.

Moshal vs. Al Sav

This one was over before it began. Kareem Hunt went ape shit on the New England Patriots on Thursday night and Moshal never looked back. Big outings by AB, Sam Bradford and Pittsburgh defense, put Al Sav in the record books. This week’s matchup between Al Sav and Moshal was the biggest margin of victory in MAZZA history. Put it in the bank for the reigning MAZZA league champion.

Al Sav’s outing was not great, but there were some bright spots. Melvin Gordon reached pay dirt once and Fitz and Cobb are getting targets they need to be effective. His issue is no QB play. Mike Glennon scored more points than Flacco and Hoyer combined.

Al will play Duke next week and Moshal will face Stan.

Stan vs. Yos

Yos went in to this week 6-0 against Stan, lifetime. Stan wasn’t prepared to let that stand. Stanley had one of the stronger teams going in to week 1 and he flexed his muscles against Yos. Without even using LeVeon Bell or Rob Gronkowski’s best efforts, he came away with a nice win.

Yos was victim of very poor QB play and poor efforts from Julio Jones and Dez Bryant. With all this being said, he was within striking distance on Monday night. Down 6.64 points with Ingram and Fleener going up against Diggs, D. Cook and Denver.

Stan closed out Monday night with a clean win with booming perfomances by Diggs and Cook on a Minnesota team that looks really good to start the year.

Stan will play Champion Moshal this week and Yos will square off with Moses.

Ezra vs. Charles

This was the most entertaining matchup in what was a rather lackluster week. Ezra’s big running backs versus Chucks strong WR core. The big notable scorers were none other than defenses! Ezra racked up 28 points with LA Rams defense and Chuck got 25 from Baltimore. Ezra’s QB play was top notch with Alex Smith blowing away his projection with 30.57 points throwing for 4 touchdowns.

Chuck was able to eke out a victory here riding the back of Mariota (17.13), Jordy (17.40) and Ty Montgomery (17.30) by mere percentage points, 128.83-128.00.

Chuck goes to Rahway, NJ to face off against a depleted Mokass squad. The curse of the Wape may be at its breaking point.

Ezra will face Sharari in a big matchup of two top scoring teams this past week.

— Morris Kassin (Week 1, 2017)

2017 Week 3 Recap

Winners and Losers- Week 3

Hello Gents,

Since my team is complete and utter shit, please get used to reviews from me as I don’t predict a win this year for myself.

Anyways, this week’s review will consist of how I would classify each winner and loser in Mazza this past week.

Sharari= Lenny from Shark Tale

He came up awfully short of a win this week and posted the second fewest points. Lenny was known to be less of a shark and more of a minnow in the major motion picture, Shark Tale. Such characteristics were exemplified by Sharari this week. His team looked weak in a battle that he needed badly.

Al Sav- Nelson Muntz

So you think you’re a tough guy? Picking on the hazit case? Al had what some would call a lucky draw that he got to face me this week. I should learn that my trash talking on Shabbat never works out to my benefit. I still don’t have high hope for his team, but hey, hes got another win under his belt vs. me.

Charles- Kim Kardashian

Like standing for the anthem, hating Kim Kardashian is an American Pastime. Naturally we all hate Charles for his cocky demeanor and bothersome comments and none of us are happier than when he loses. Just like Kim lost her ring in Europe and the world made a big deal over it, Charles lost to Dag this week. Commish, thank you for laying the smack down on him this week.

Dag- Marv Levy

Marv Levy, the former Bills head coach who led them to 4 straight Super Bowl appearances only to lose all of them. Dagmy, the man whos team is always in it and ROLLING, but can’t close. He is reminding me of this Bills team in its entirety, but I think we all want the commish to close this year. His team is STRONG. But history is not on his side…

Mo Kass- Meredith Palmer

What more can I say. I’m Meredith. Why? I could have picked a bunch of other losers, but this dates back to the Christmas Party episode when Meredith picks the teapot over the iPod. Yes. Bad drafting by Meredith. Bad Drafting is what put me in this compromising position. Unlike Meredith, I don’t like the feeling of getting F%*&ked in the @$$.

Moses- Henrik Lundqvist

This is an interesting one. Despite their common devilish handsomeness, the key comparison here is that despite their best efforts, they happen to always come up short. Naturally, we all want Hank and Moses to get the Win they deserve, but for Mose, it seems unlikely this year.

Stan- The Guy in Super Smash Bros with the Hammer

You wanted to avoid him this week just like you want to avoid the guy with the hammer. Had the best draft to start and looking like his team is living up to it. Stan is poised for a deep run this year.

Moshal- Robert Baratheon

The Usurper of the Mad King’s crown was defeated this week but nothing more than a boar in Dukes team. This is one might boar though. Moshal’s team is pointing upward with lots of potential.

Ezra- George Costanza

C ’mon. We all thought it after the draft. We were screwed when the Elliott news came out. Ez had it in the bag. It was the Summer of Ez… Low and behold, Ezra sits 0-3 and what was will probably never be. Ezra just can’t get it right can he.

Yossi- Bill Cosby

We all know about Yossi’s comedic prowess, but he must have dropped something in to Sharari’s Team’s drink this week.  You wined, dined and swooned him and BANG. Beat down HARD. Nice statement win for Yos.

Duke- Aaron Judge

The man is just putting a hurt on people. 3-0 with no signs of stopping. I was a recipient of the beating this year and I’ll tell you it ain’t fun. Riding Sharari’s boy, um, I mean Duke’s Boy Aaron Rodgers. He’s Trucking along. Just get out of his way.

Nimo- President Donald Trump

Nimo, just like everyone else, couldn’t believe he won this week. Not only did he win, he won BIGLY. Taking home the weekly winner with a huge score. One week at a time, Nimo is Making Mazza Great Again!

— Morris Kassin (Week 3, 2017)

2018 Mid Season Report Part II

Welcome to part two of the Mazza Midseason Review! Part 1 was on the Mazza Podcast where Yoss and I delved into each team and looked at best and worst picks as well as notable transactions.

In this part of the review I will be going deep (DEEP) into the alternate standings and GPA given out by Yahoo to see where we all stand at this point. Here. We. Go.

First up – All Team standings. Record based on what our record would be if we played everyone every single week. Yahoo used to put this in the recaps every week, now they don’t so I’ve been doing it manually every week.

All Team Standings (current Mazza record in parentheses)

Current Record All Team Standings Games Back
Mokass (7-0) 65-12
Beda (3-4) 52-25 13
Stan (4-3) 51-26 14
Moshal (3-4) 45-32 20
Yossi (4-3) 44-33 21
Nimo (5-2) 39-38 26
Sharari 4-3) 38-39 27
Duke (4-3) 37-40 28
Chuck (3-4) 36-41 29
Alsav (3-4) 29-48 36
Dag (1-6) 14-63 51
Ez (1-6) 12-65 53

This is the 4th year I’m doing this and I can’t recall such a superb record ever achieved before. Mokass at 65-12 is no surprise to us and the margin between him and 2nd place also seems to be the highest since I started this. (Mokass seems to be overachieving though. I would translate the 65-12 to roughly 6-1 so maybe this is a sign that Mokass will eventually slow down? No, you’re right. Of course he won’t slow down. I’m an idiot.)

Speaking of 2nd place – look at the rise of Rosen Mania! 2nd time rookie Sam Ben Simmons Beda is all the way up to a bye seed where right now in Mazza standings he’s on the outside of the playoffs looking in*. Sam is 3rd in scoring this year and higher scoring teams obviously tend to do better when we look at the standings this way. However, while I can say it’s a great sign for Sam going forward….maybe its not? Maybe he missed his chance to group together some Ws? Time will tell.
*Sam is already eliminated from playoff contention. Teammate call.

The other big mover is our current #2 seed Nimonizer. I think we all saw this one coming. Nimo is 4th to last in points (only ahead of Alsav, Ez and Dag) so how is he getting his wins? By being a Moses-esque (who?) cooler. Nimo has the least points against by far at 838 (next is alsav at 903). Thus far Nimo has skated by on luck. Can he hold on?? He has 5 running backs now (send offers, dickheads!), so maybe.

In our real standings 3 through 10 are separated by 1 game and that reflects here where 6 teams are separated by 9 games (Moshal through Chuck for those of you who can’t read tables and/or charts). Doesn’t really tell us that we don’t already know: it’s going to be a wild dog fight for those precious playoff spots. Everyone has a chance….

….Except Dag and Ez. Now, I don’t want to completely write anyone off but 14 and 12 all-team wins are both all-time lows since I have been doing this. That’s nasty and I’m sure both teams will agree. We expect better from both but sometimes it’s just not in the cards. The all-team standings show that Dag and Ez are EXACTLY where they should be. Keep fighting my friends.

Tiers based on All Team Standings
Tier 1 – Mokass
Tier 2 – Sam and Stan
Tier 3 – Moshal, Yossi, Nimo, Sharari, Duke, Chuck
Tier 4- Alsav
Tier 5 – Dag and Ez

Now I’ll post the cumulative GPA that Yahoo has given us each week. For some reason Yahoo did not recap our league for week 6 (assholes) so that week will be excluded. I’m not exactly sure how Yahoo comes up with these grades or what exactly is taken into account besides start/sit decision (if even that, i feel like pickups were also factored in during past years but really i have no clue) but here we go:


Mokass 3.87
Beda 3.83
Stan 3.43
Chuck 3.38
Yossi 3.38
Nimo 3.20
Duke 3.17
Moshal 3.05
Sharari 3.05
Alsav 2.77
Dag 2.33
Ez 1.88


Big movers here: Chuck from 9th in all team to 4th in GPA. What does it mean? I have no idea. Clearly he’s doing something right according to Yahoo. Moshal from 4th in all team to 8th in GPA because of his stubborn attitude in embracing that we are, in fact, a 2 QB league. The rest is pretty much the same. Team QB Stan remains in 3rd place but drops a tier to the middle of the pack. The gains Sam made in “all team” ring true here in GPA (even better, he’s basically on par with Mokass here) and by all accounts he seems to have a playoff berth in the future.

But that’s why we play the games. Or they do. We just watch.

A+ Grade Tally
4 – Mokass (duh)
2- Mazza Podcast

1 – Beda, Duke, Moshal, Sharari, AlSav

D Grade Tally
1 – Dag, Ez, Alsav

Hope you all enjoyed. Good luck the rest of the way!