2019 WEEK 4 TEAM NAME GAME- JUDGE: EZRA

Week 4 Team Name Recap

Judge: Ezra

Topic: Technology

I honestly gotta say, I’m very proud of all of you. I was ready to ball bust for some crappy names but I stand here impressed.

Let’s start with Mokass. I actually asked him to make a name for me (legal?) and he came up with TerryByte without thinking. Imagine what he could come up with if he thinks for a few seconds. McCoy —> BitMcCoyn. I just love it. Fantastic job mokass. For that, I give you 5000 points. Oh, this isn’t Whose line is it anyway? Aright you get 3 points baby. Enjoy em, shove em up your ass, do whatever you want w them, it’s a free country I don’t give a shit.

Update: Mokass asked me if I’m writing this article, I said yes, he responded: “good boy”. that’s minus one point. Have some respect for the judge!!! So in case, you can’t do math (Yoss) 3-1= 2 points for Mokass.

Stan – what it do baby?! I like this one too. Microsoft is the face of technology (at least one of the faces). I have their stock, they’re doing fantastic BH. Let’s give em a round of applause (Rabbi Ettingoff anyone?) for their tech shit. I’ll give you two points here too. Enjoy em, take your wife to dinner w them. What do you actually win with these points? A Mazza headband?

Diggity Dag – WinJones 95 – dude it’s 2019 do you still use Windows 95? Why not Windows 10? As a tech guy, I’m not happy here. Support for Windows 7 is ending this upcoming January. I would have given you two points but you will get one point.

UPDATE: His name was actually WinJones XP. He started off with WinJones 95 and then changed it to XP. Nevertheless, he still receives one point.

Sharkrari- hey man wanna trade? Floppy Diggs is a solid name. I know I just bashed Dag for using an antiquated OS but even floppy disks were in use after windows 95 was upgraded to windows 98. I don’t know if this warrants two points tho, can I give 1.5 points? If not take your one point and go 🤬 a goat.

Charles – Carr Phones. No one really had car phones but if you did you were HL and it was def a hot and coveted tech feature everyone wanted in their car. I remember Abie ash’s dad had a car phone, I thought he was a roller. Many years later I learned he’s just a regular guy like the rest of us (he is actually an awesome dude tho). Can I give Charles -2 points just cause or will he bring it to Mazza court? He’s probably not even reading this. -2 points for Charles. 

Co-Commish update: While he was given negative points, if you submit a name change that week, you cannot be punished for it. Charles will receive 0 points for the submitted name.

Ezra – TerryByte – fbgm- what do I write here? I’m sexy. Terrabyte in case you didn’t know is a measurement of storage and comes after “Giga”. Zero points.

Duke – MegahERTZ- another clever one. At least to me, it’s clever. Who knows I’m a moron when it comes to this stuff. I did ask duke to ghost write this article for me and he asked for $40 FAAB. Fuckin guy. Mike is 4-0 without Saquon for two weeks. Guys a beast. What that has to do with TNG, I have no clue, just writing shit that comes to my mind. Mike two points rochie.

Vic – MackBook Air. Vic was the first to change his team name. There are def points for the eagerness baby! But this is team name game not eager ass game. When we do that game, I’ll give you some points, man. As for the name itself, MacBook Air is a sexy ass laptop. It’s light, feels great in your hands, and starts at a low price of 999. Love ya, Vic, happy you’re in the league. Two points.

Moshal – InConnerIngram Mode. Off the bat, I will tell you this is one point. I know I know two names in one but it sounds shittier than your original name. I loved that name! It was fav one of the bunch. How’s the iPad mo? Can I use it? (Hamevin Yavin).

Al Sav – Hewlett packers. This just sounds right. I mean it’s one letter off from the actual name Hewlett-Packard. So yeah that makes sense. I still like it tho. Simple. Sounds nice, can’t go wrong. I’ll give ya two points.

Nimo: נעילה…זכה Tyler – wtf does this have to do with tech? Some guy named Tyler won the Neilah bid for Kippur? Still not finding the tech connection here. Nimo – zero points. Love ya bruh.

Yossi: Amarica Online – Yoss was pumped about this name. Does anyone have any hours of AOL left? I need them. Good old days with AOL. Simpler times, chat rooms, stalking cute girls from our grade (I know you can do that in every other social media outlet but not the same as AOL). You can ask a girl for her screen name. That’s what it was about. Now you have to ask for their number and call them. Fuckin bullshit. I’ll give you three points because you made me a better steak than any restaurant could have. The name is worthy of 3 points alone but the steak man. I won’t forget that taste it was delicious.