Winners and Losers- Week 3
Since my team is complete and utter shit, please get used to reviews from me as I don’t predict a win this year for myself.
Anyways, this week’s review will consist of how I would classify each winner and loser in Mazza this past week.
Sharari= Lenny from Shark Tale
He came up awfully short of a win this week and posted the second fewest points. Lenny was known to be less of a shark and more of a minnow in the major motion picture, Shark Tale. Such characteristics were exemplified by Sharari this week. His team looked weak in a battle that he needed badly.
Al Sav- Nelson Muntz
So you think you’re a tough guy? Picking on the hazit case? Al had what some would call a lucky draw that he got to face me this week. I should learn that my trash talking on Shabbat never works out to my benefit. I still don’t have high hope for his team, but hey, hes got another win under his belt vs. me.
Charles- Kim Kardashian
Like standing for the anthem, hating Kim Kardashian is an American Pastime. Naturally we all hate Charles for his cocky demeanor and bothersome comments and none of us are happier than when he loses. Just like Kim lost her ring in Europe and the world made a big deal over it, Charles lost to Dag this week. Commish, thank you for laying the smack down on him this week.
Dag- Marv Levy
Marv Levy, the former Bills head coach who led them to 4 straight Super Bowl appearances only to lose all of them. Dagmy, the man whos team is always in it and ROLLING, but can’t close. He is reminding me of this Bills team in its entirety, but I think we all want the commish to close this year. His team is STRONG. But history is not on his side…
Mo Kass- Meredith Palmer
What more can I say. I’m Meredith. Why? I could have picked a bunch of other losers, but this dates back to the Christmas Party episode when Meredith picks the teapot over the iPod. Yes. Bad drafting by Meredith. Bad Drafting is what put me in this compromising position. Unlike Meredith, I don’t like the feeling of getting F%*&ked in the @$$.
Moses- Henrik Lundqvist
This is an interesting one. Despite their common devilish handsomeness, the key comparison here is that despite their best efforts, they happen to always come up short. Naturally, we all want Hank and Moses to get the Win they deserve, but for Mose, it seems unlikely this year.
Stan- The Guy in Super Smash Bros with the Hammer
You wanted to avoid him this week just like you want to avoid the guy with the hammer. Had the best draft to start and looking like his team is living up to it. Stan is poised for a deep run this year.
Moshal- Robert Baratheon
The Usurper of the Mad King’s crown was defeated this week but nothing more than a boar in Dukes team. This is one might boar though. Moshal’s team is pointing upward with lots of potential.
Ezra- George Costanza
C ’mon. We all thought it after the draft. We were screwed when the Elliott news came out. Ez had it in the bag. It was the Summer of Ez… Low and behold, Ezra sits 0-3 and what was will probably never be. Ezra just can’t get it right can he.
Yossi- Bill Cosby
We all know about Yossi’s comedic prowess, but he must have dropped something in to Sharari’s Team’s drink this week. You wined, dined and swooned him and BANG. Beat down HARD. Nice statement win for Yos.
Duke- Aaron Judge
The man is just putting a hurt on people. 3-0 with no signs of stopping. I was a recipient of the beating this year and I’ll tell you it ain’t fun. Riding Sharari’s boy, um, I mean Duke’s Boy Aaron Rodgers. He’s Trucking along. Just get out of his way.
Nimo- President Donald Trump
Nimo, just like everyone else, couldn’t believe he won this week. Not only did he win, he won BIGLY. Taking home the weekly winner with a huge score. One week at a time, Nimo is Making Mazza Great Again!
— Morris Kassin (Week 3, 2017)