MAZZA LIVE

2017 – by Sharari


I’m here with first overall pick Stanley Cohen who  has graciously taken time out of his family vacation to do this. Stan I would like to ask you a few questions about the Mazza League, and more importantly Mazza Bowl III.

Q. Stan, you have always been one of the top wideouts in this game but were you surprised to be the first overall pick? Some people had Sharari going with a qb.

A. At first I was definitely surprised. QB is the name of the game and Moses is undefeated all time as qb in Mazza Bowl. But the more I think about it I realized my Captain really planned his draft well. He scouted his opposing drafter and knew from the Mazza fantasy draft that Mokass is pure garbage at drafting. So sharari took the best skill player available and found great value with dag at QB bc he KNEW Mokass wouldn’t take 2 qbs early. That’s why we call him the shark, folks.

Q. Thank you for that. You are once again teaming up with Dag as the qb. That didn’t go so well the first time around. How confident are you with Dagmy at qb, and do you believe your team can get him his first W ?

A. I thought Dag played really well last year and I have the utmost confidence in him. This is probably the best supporting cast he’s had in The Mazza Bowl and I think he’ll come through bigly. In fact, if I was a betting man he would be my pick for MVP. I think he leads us to victory and gets the proverbial Mazza Bowl monkey off his back.

Q. While I am biased, I happen to agree with you 100% and I would be thrilled to be part of giving dag his first W. Are there any specific matchups on the other side that you think will be a problem come Sunday?

A. The big problem is Mokass. He sucks at drafting but the man is an animal. I also think their recent acquisition of Sam Beda is a stealthy move that can pay dividends. He automatically projects as their #2. That’s a big improvement. And obviously we can’t sleep on BCVP and his one handed catches. Guy’s a fuckin magician! And what form!!

Q. I guess that’s why they say no matter how big the underdog is you still gta play the game. I’ll get you out of here on this one. Something a little off topic. You are currently sitting atop the Mazza league standings at 8-2 and are projected to win out. Do you think your team has what it takes to propel you to an unprecedented 3rd championship?

A. I think my team has what it takes, not because my team is particularly strong or deep but because there are no great teams out there expect for Yossi’s rape team. There’s a lot of parity and anyone can win. But right now I think Yoss, who is the current  points leader , is the odds on favorite. The playoff race is going to be wild these next 3 weeks ! 

Thanks for having me on! Let’s go Sharks!

Thank you Stanley for being with us. Enjoy the rest of your vacation and I’ll see you on Sunday!

I hope to have more interviews for you soon…


I’m joined now by our resident gingy Alsav, from Team Mokass.

Alsav, you’re teaming up with your brother in law Mokass who some, including myself, say didn’t have the greatest draft. How do you feel about your team heading into MBIII?

Really excited about our chances , it will come down to defensive pressure. We feel we have what it takes to neutralize their bigs which is all they have. 2
sharks and a bunch of fish if you ask me. We are extremely excited about our
waver wire pickup Sam Beyda. Mokass had a great draft . Some say and we agree
that we have the best qb1 qb2 combo and the best wide receiver our captain. And
our number one rusher of all time(Moshal). Ezvp enough said


Strong words.  Lets see if you can back that up. I have spoken to your
captain and he does not feel the same way saying “I think we got a shot to win,
but not a great one at that.” Your stamina has come into question many times
over the past few years. What have you been doing to get in shape for this game,
and stay on the field more than 25%?


When coach puts me in I will preform whether its for 20 -50 percent of the snaps
maximum hustle 100 percent of the time. Our Captain is a humble man. To him
words our pennies, I’m surprised he gave you a response


I dont quite know what that means but one thing we know about you is when your
number is called you always give 100%. Your QB Moses is 2-0 in the Mazza Bowl.
This might be the last time he plays in this game as he is retiring at the end
of the season. Do you feel any added pressure to send him out on top?


Moses will be missed, I am sure he will be inducted in to the hall of fame some
day. Hes a friend a mentor and makes us all look good on the field. With him at
the helm, I’d start any of us in fantasy.  We play the game to win, the
only pressure that will be felt is our defensive prowess. Moses has been
mentoring our new franchise quarterback Nimo Hashem yishmerehu.


Speaking of your backup QB. Nimo is coming into the game with the questionable
tag. Adam Schefter has him listed as doubtful to suit up. Do you care to comment
on his current health?


Adam Schefter’s report came out in the beginning of the week. Nimo’s been
working hard studying Moses playbook we will be there for him. Nimo’s
versatility when fully healthy allows him to come out as a top gun wide receiver
on trick plays and what not. I’d be shocked if he doesn’t suit up.


Its been said that The Sharks have the best WR tandem in the game. How do you
plan on stopping them on offense?


Team Effort


You guys come into the game as heavy underdogs. How is the team moral?


Extremely high, I wish we can move up the game to right now


I love your enthusiasm. You have been one of the biggest supporters to play this
game indoors. Now that the game will be played outside on one of the coldest
days of the year, how will that affect you?


I love dome games man, the lighting, wind free zone allows us to move the chains
easier. I’ll be fine I just received from my sponsored Under Armour, my new cold
weather package


Going to take alot more than a pair of tights to win this one. Can I get a
prediction on final score?


Tough to say,  I hope we shut them out ya know.


Not really a prediction but I guess well take it. Last question for you. Since
you moved to deal, My Grill Bar sales have tanked. Its rumored that we will be
going there once again for our post game meal. Do you still have any pull there
and can you hook us up like you did last time?


They will for sure hook us up if thats where we decide to go
.


Thank you for making the time to be here with us. I know you are travelling
great lengths to play in this game so I look forward to seeing you on Sunday. 


This interview has been sponsored by the good folks at Nice Electronics. 


I am joined now by Charles Zami. He took time out of his learning at the
University of Culinary School of Zami Caterers to be with us here today so I
definitely appreciate it. 


Always a pleasure to give my time to my boys


Charles, your team is worried that you wont show up to the game on time. Last
year you came late and Team Black was in a little bit of a hole, one they
couldn’t climb out of. Do you have any parties booked for this Sunday and will
you show up on time?


Actually pretty funny, i had entered into my business calendar mazza bowl , my
kitchen and chef asked what kind of mazza do we need and how we are serving it
…. i would gladly bring mazza if there is any interest.  at mb1 i think
the mazza is what helped my team win 


I don’t think this is even a question. Definitely bring the mazza!

In the catering business you are around alot of delicious food at any given
moment in the day. How do you fight the urge to eat this food all day, and are
you in game shape and ready to go on Sunday?


i dont fight the urge   i just eat all fried foods all day and they make me
really happy.  In Terms of being in shape and ready to go ,  most
definitely will be ready to go on Sunday… if i gained a few pounds itll work
to my advantage that many more pounds for the defense to cover 


That’s a good way to look at it but it also slows you down.


Last year you had alot of drops, which frustrated your QB. Have you been working
on your ball skills in the off season?


I was banking on moshal having me in secret santa to get me any kind of gloves
to help my butter fingers   but now we have mazza league gloves! im not
worried and neither should me qb be .


Those gloves are definitely something I can’t wait to get.


You are normally a trash talker, and playing you in fantasy is a highlight for
most because you send the best voicenotes. In recent weeks you have been pretty
quiet. Team Shark needs you to get into the minds of Team Mokass. Anything you
want to say to them?


i dont need to take any shots at them…. they already shot themselves in the
leg when they drafted nimo😂😂 


As a former winning captain in the Mazza Bowl, do you have any advice for Team
Captain Sharari this year? 


No advice needed with our roster as is.  lets just coordinate our td
celebrations 


Most of the players I interviewed had this game as a blowout one way or another.
What do you think the outcome will be on Sunday?


when i go in a cab i usually always agree with vegas..sharks are favored, i got
the sharks by a mile 


Thanks again for joining us. I will see you on the field on Sunday! Bring
shorts, we dont need any added distractions. 

the distractions are for the other team but wtvr 🤔


 I am now joined by the most important member of this league. He is the guy that
does everything he can to make the Mazza league the best and most successful
league out there, Commish Dag.  

Now commish I know with you are busy, but I wanted to ask you a few questions on
the status of the league and of course Mazza Bowl III if that’s all right with
you.


You do so much for this league, most of which is done behind the scenes. How do you
feel about the state of the league now midway through its 11th season, and what
does the future hold for the league?


The future is very bright for this amazing league. We are the greatest fantasy
football league in the world and will always be regardless of what obstacles
come in our way. We will have a new member joining our midst next season and he
will jolt our league with even more excitement. The fun never stops at Mazza
league and we are constantly bringing new things and ideas to fruition so our
members can enjoy this privileged & exclusive club. 

We will continue as a strong league for a long long time since our league is
filled with so many dedicated members who devote time and effort into many
different aspects of the league. There are too many people who work behind the
scenes and people think its me doing the work. I can’t thank all the guys who
have helped with all the different activities and planned events throughout the
season. Whether its game night, draft day, superbowl party, mazza bowl or
anything else, everyone is always offering to help in any way possible and give
time and supreme effort to everything. We even have professional complainers and
BBers that always are sure to keep me on top of my game. We’ve had our ups and
downs this season and just like in the past, we have always learned and ended up
with a better league in the end. 

In the middle of this season we got some sad news that our beloved Moses Safdieh
has decided to step down from our league. We wish him the best and he will
always have a place in our hearts. The league will miss you for sure and we hope
you change your mind one day. How can the future not be bright though? We all
constantly are looking to fine tune this league in every way so we continue to
advance in every single aspect. I will always make sure that the league is on
top, regardless if we are on ESPN or not. Stay tuned boys, next season will be
even better than this one!


Thank you for that. I love your passion and commitment to the league. You make
it a fun place for us and something we all want to be part of.

Onto the game. How did you go about choosing this years captains, and how did
they take the news when you told them?


Choosing this years captains was very easy for me. I was contemplating it for a
while, but decided to go for it on a Friday afternoon in the summer as I was too
excited. I couldn’t have chosen better guys. MoKass needed to be captain since
he did such a great job on the sidelines last year and should’ve scouted real
well. Mokass was confused at first, but then understood it was his job to draft
a team. He then went to Baby Lilly and asked her for advice. Bless her soul, she
just smiled and looked away as if to say, what is this guy talking about?

Steve, you have been a fan of this mazza bowl, 3 years before it was even
created you were advocating for it. We all know it was the motivation to get you
in shape, make you lose all that weight and try to develop that six pack.
Mongoose Bicyles actually called me and wanted to sponsors this years game. They
informed me you where their customer of the year since you order 14 bikes from
them in the past 4 years. They originally thought you were trying to open up an
amazon account to sell these goods, but since have learned the truth about your
bike riding addiction. Mazza Bowl has been a great addition and it was only
fitting that you become captain. You were immediately ready to draft a team and
had strategies in place as if you were prepared all along. You have since
created team shark, which is the heaviest favored team in mazza bowl history.
The devotion you give cannot be beat and if you were captain every year, I know
I can’t speak for all, but I’m pretty sure everyone would love it. 

Mokass was definitely a little confused, and it shows by the team he picked and the fact that it took him 3 days to complete his team As a QB in the Mazza Bowl you are 0-2. Some say you don’t have what it takes to win the big game. What do you say to those people, and how are you preparing for this game?

I love being QB and I love playing the game. I give it my all my heart yearns for that first mazza bowl win. Do I hear the critics? Hells yea, but that only gives me more motivation to compete harder and try my very best to lead my team to victory. As a QB, I try to carry the team on my back and all its responsibilities. I know it is my job to lead my team to a victory and I say to them that they better get their pop corn ready, cuz I’m gonna make everyone on my team looking like prime time Terrellence Ford Owens during his Dallas Cowboys haydayssss!! I tell them to make sure their cameras are ready, because come Sunday Night, November 19th its gonna be raining TDs for team shark and our
TD dances will be epic and a plentiful.

While I don’t like to be compared to the choke artist cowboys in recent times I cannot wait to see what you will bring come Sunday.

This is arguably the best team you have had in all 3 years of the Mazza Bowl. How confident are you with this team and do you feel any added pressure coming in as the heavy favorite?

I thought my teams both years were good enough to win the game and I failed in leading my team to victory. However, I must say that both those teams did make a great compilation blooper reel video that would’ve made some dahak NFL version of Shaqtin A Fool type videos. Myself included. I saw the line this week, and I was not surprised that we were heavy favorites. This is my best team yet. We are going to win. Nuff said.

There were defiantly a lot of bloopers some of us would like to forget.

Have you been scouting the other team at all? You don’t really have much tape to watch on star wideout Morris Kassin, and Sam Beda who was a late addition to the team. 

No need to scount them. I know everything I need to know about these guys. I have seen it all and I am prepared. MoKass is a top tier Calvin Johnson Esq wide receiver 1, every single game. The kid cannot be stopped, scouting doesn’t help. Beda is coming in fresh, and I think we can deal with this new addition. I think we are at an advantage seeing that they will not have continuity at the QB position. 


Mokass is a mountain of a man, and will be hard to contain.
Do you have anything panned for the league postgame? Last years dinner was a huge success.

Yes 100%!! We will be going to Grill Bar once again as that may become the new post game dinner spot. I enjoyed it tremendously and would like to thank Albert Savdie for setting that up with this gingy connection. AlSav is rumored to still have same connections as hes been getting a daily Uber Eats to his office Grill Bar. His brother tried to get in of that lunch action, but was denied their as well. Al is careful not to let anyone mess with his Grill Bar connections. 


The people want to get to know you a little better and see the lighter side of their beloved commissioner. I’m going to rapid fire a few questions and just tell me the first thing that pops into your head. 


Favorite Movie- Batman – The Dark Knight

Favorite Food – Fried Chicken baby     

Favorite Color- Green

Favorite Disney Princess- tough one, but I gotta go with Belle after seeing Beauty and the Beast this year.


Thank you for taking time out of your busy day, and I think I speak for the whole league when I say you are doing a fantastic job as commish and we couldn’t be luckier to have you. I hope this league lasts for many years to come. Good
luck on Sunday! 


Thanks so much for having me on the show. Keep up the good work. Thank you sir, to you as well!


I am joined now by Michael “the Duke” Douek. Thanks for being with us. 

Duke, there is still alot of controversy over your game winning touchdown in MBI. Video evidence shows that you were clearly inbounds. How do you put something like that behind you and move on?

Sometimes the league needs controversy for entertainment purposes. There’s
nothing to put behind me from MBI. We blew out our opponents that day and have
no ragrets. I cant say the same for MBII, which I would like to move on from.
The only way to do that is by stepping up this Sunday. 


You admit that you do not have the best hands, and definitely not the biggest
hands. You are coming into this game as questionable with a lingering thumb
injury. How do you plan on contributing and helping your team earn a victory on
Sunday?


Tiny hands affects 99.73% of American newborns every year. Contrary to popular
belief, tiny hands has no correlation with WR skills. In fact- Will Fuller (at a
tiny 8 1/4″ hand) caught 7 TDs in a 4-game span this season. With the right QB,
it doesn’t matter what your hand size is. I have full confidence in our QB David
Dagmy who’s been compared to Deshaun Watson by some scouts. As for the thumb,
it’s been improving and will be taped before the game- no worries there.


I have no doubt that the Will Fuller stat is real. Lets hope you don’t suffer
the same fate as him.


Given the matchups it appears you will be defending last years MVP, Ezra Shiram.
How do you plan on stopping him and taking away one of their bigger threats?


Ezra tends to elevate his game when I’m his opponent in any sport. Unfortunately
for him he’s dealing with a foot injury and won’t be at 100%. Still, I expect
him to give his best and I’m looking forward to this challenge. Don’t bet on him
being the MVP in MBIII


Your fantasy team took a big hit losing alot of star players, mostly QB’s. Dag
has expressed some concern over this epidemic. Do you think this will have any
effect on your QB this Sunday?


Absolutely. If you have Case Keenum in any other league SELL HIGH. We were
looking at arguably the best fantasy QB tandems in Mazza history with Rodgers,
Watson, and Tyrod. I have hope that Moshal wants to injure Carlos Wentz so he
drops him for me to pickup. I’m also glad that I didn’t draft my boy Alex Smith
this season. It would have been heartbreaking to watch him go down beacuse of
me. Hopefully my team can pull off a miracle in the playoffs but realistically
I’m looking at a week 14 exit.


What is your prediction for Sundays game?


I don’t see the blowout everyone else sees. Both teams are fired up, and
although I’ll agree that Mokass messed up his draft, new addition Sam Beda gives
“the participants” new life. I’ll predict a 9-6 score in favor of Team Shark,
just shy of covering the spread. 


Duke its always a pleasure talking to you. We may not always agree on things and
we sometimes butt heads but you’re my boy. I cant wait to take the field with
you on Sunday. 


Pleasures all mine, Looking forward to playing with the shark for the 3rd straight year!